Silenced

Day after day she withstood the whipping of his astringent accusations. And with today baring all resemblances of times past, she knew that the explosion of his temper was inevitable.

Attempting to remain low-key, her movements were slight and low in number. Deciding that the best way to evade a confrontation with him, would be to leave the house, she grabbed her jacket and headed for the door.

A few steps shy of her exit….

“Where do you think you’re going?” The tone of his voice composed yet demanding.

Thoughts of dashing through the door and possibly escaping what she’s sure is to come, began to flicker through her mind. In her head she could hear the screams of her conscious saying “Get Out Of Here”, but paralyzed by fear she found that running would prove to be impossible.

Sensing his closeness she began to tremble. Then from the corner of her eye she witnessed his hand reaching over her shoulder and abruptly pushing closed the door. Now Feeling the warmth of his breathe on her neck, she stepped forward and turned face to face with her abuser.

“I said where…are…you…going?” He asked, but this time sounding more hostile than before.

Tears immediately filled her eyes and she nervously opened her mouth and attempted to explain.

“I…I…I…” She began to stutter.

“Shut up!” He ordered.

In an effort to circumvent the splatters of spit that shot from his mouth, she turned her head, which proved to be a big mistake.

Shifting her attention back in his direction, she’s traumatized by the sight of his fist making it’s way towards her face.

“Daddy Noooooooooo”

Silenced by parental bullying

Question 1: Have you ever been the victim of bullying?
Question 2: Would you say that you have been a victim of parental bullying or ever bullied your own children?

I’m certain that answering these questions may prove to be difficult. After all, what type of parent would intentionally bully their own children?”Silenced” is a depiction of parental bullying.

You may be wondering how is that so, well according to bullyingstatistics.org, A bully is someone who is regularly overbearing. He or she looks to cause humiliation or discomfort to another, particularly if that other is weaker or smaller. This can be physical bullying, emotional bullying or mental discomfort and humiliation.

So what does this have to do with parental bullying? And I would say everything. It is important to understand that though physical abuse can and in most cases will cause a child to have a negative opinion of themselves, so does emotional and mental abuse (parental bullying).

It is my desire to always be truthful and that means that I have to be forthcoming with my own truth. So I’ll admit that I have been the victim of parental bullying. And to offer you even more truth, I have to admit that I have also bullied my very own children.

Now admitting that my children have had to deal with me being overbearing, intimidating them and being humiliated by me is not an easy thing to deal with, but this is a part of my truth. I need you to understand something, as a parent I have never intended to hurt my children in any way, shape or form, but just like many of you, immaturity played a major part in the way that I parented in the past.

What are some examples of parental bullying?

Threatening to harm them physically, as a result of not doing what you have told them to do and knowing full well that you aren’t going to do anything. Saying things like, I’m going to whip your butt if you don’t……….. is an example of parental bullying by intimidation.

Inflicting bodily harm and I’m not talking about a spanking. I mean things like punching them in the face, kicking and hitting them with objects not intended for spankings. ex: extension cords, wood, certain shoes, metal objects, brooms, etc. This is an example of parental bullying by abuse.

If you have a child/or children who enjoy doing things away from the house and at times away from you, but you always find reasons why they shouldn’t and your reasons aren’t valid. You know that it’s less about protection and more about control. You won’t allow them to be children. Then it is quite possible that you are inflicting parental bullying, by way of manipulation.

I have witnessed a few parents cursing there children out as if they are adults. This is definitely parental bullying.

I know that from personal experience that my children aren’t the true causes of my anger and bullying towards them, instead they and my husband are the closest to me at the time of my emotional overhaul, therefore making them the easiest targets.

I will say this, there is a root cause for everything and your emotions have to be dealt with.

www.askdrsears.com, suggest five ways that parents can handle their anger:

1.Heal your angry past

2.Keep your perspective

3.Make anger your ally

4.Quit beating yourself up

5.Beware of high risk situations that trigger anger

For more insight into each suggestion, click on the link below:

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/5-ways-parents-can-handle-their-anger

I’ll leave you with this:

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation — either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.